My first blog post published, but not my first blog post written. I have written and deleted at least 4 parts or complete posts. I have been indifferent, afraid, and generally lacking confidence in myself when it came to publishing a post. This has also been an apt description of my first couple weeks as an assistant principal. What has changed? A realization this is just not going to work.
I started off my first couple weeks as assistant principal hesitant, doubting my abilities and self deprecating in conversation with staff, all the time feeling uneasy and out of place. This translated into stress-filled decisions and worry-filled nights as I reflected each day on what had transpired. I found I was beating myself up over what should have been clear paths to take, and missed opportunities for successful interactions with students, parents and colleagues. I knew the right answer when I reflected, why didn’t I see it in the moment? I was discovering the power of doubt.
In the last week I realized I needed to make a change. I needed to believe in my abilities and do what I was capable of. I needed to remember that if I made decisions based on a principle I believed in, “What was best for our students?” (Covey of course) I would most likely be making the right call. That decision, along with all the inspirational stories and articles I have heard/read thanks to my developing PLN, and some very effective mentoring from administrators in my division (yes I get to work with George Couros, I know I am lucky), have helped me turn the first corner in my administrative career. It feels great!
So the journey has begun, and I feel better with each passing day. I have found the time to get into classrooms and interact with students, I have done my best to support my colleagues and I have had great conversations with parents.
I have also made my first blog post… That wasn’t so hard.